101 Things the Fire Department wishes you knew



Thursday, October 9

...for the alcohol poisoning...


The fellow we meet at the basketball courts at a local park appears to be intoxicated, but is in fact a victim of the struggling economy. Some gauge the economy by used car dealerships, I judge it by the quality of street drugs.

THE EMERGENCY
A youth basketball team has arrived at practice to find a gentleman passed out under the away team hoop. He has removed his shoes and lay down in a fetal position, prompting the coach to call 911 and report an intoxicated person in public.

THE ACTION
After realizing that this person was actually under the influence of a common street drug you roll into cigarettes or smoke from a water pipe, we removed him from the community area and placed him in the ambulance. It is often in this cramped 6'x 8' space a person's personal hygiene standards are apparent. From this man emanates a most foul stench of marijuana. Not old or dry or on his clothes, but the cigarette he still has with him is so strong, I debate tossing it out the window. The term "skunk weed" used by the kids these days doesn't do this odor justice. It was clear that this man was so down on his luck he couldn't even afford a fair amount of fair marijuana in a time and place where it is almost as common as tobacco. Worst part is, when he comes down from his "high" he'll have an ambulance and hospital bill to worry about.

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