Firegeezer recently posted THIS story about a Nationalized hospital who called 911 for a man just outside their doors.
It reminded me of a run we had a few years back INSIDE a private hospital here in the states.
THE EMERGENCY
Caller states a man is having a seizure in an office.
THE ACTION
The address looks familiar on the screen and as we approach we see why. We've been dispatched to the hospital. The engine and fire ambulance crew (They don't transport, but staff a dual medic unit, don't get me started) are milling about in the lobby trying to find out where to go. We finally make contact with security who leads us up to their office where they say a man is having a seizure.
All the while we're hearing "Code orange, third floor. Code Orange, third floor." I ask security what that means and they say it's the hospital's code for a medical emergency within the hospital.
Hmmm...where are they?
We've all been in the ER when a code blue is struck somewhere else, the attending and a couple of nurses grab a predetermined kit and go.
On the third floor we meet our "patient." He was caught by security wandering near the pharmacy storage rooms in a secure area of the hospital and has been detained awaiting police arrival. When he was searched they found numerous narcotics and the man then said, "I 'm having a seizure" and fell to the ground.
It was on this call that I learned a little about "maintaining self image."
Ever seen people on TV pick up an arm, drop it and say, "He's dead!"? What are they doing? Nothing. The trick there is to drop the hand over the person's face. If the hand falls and hits them in the face, they're likely out cold. When the hand magically falls away from the face on repeated attempts, the person is consciously keeping their hand from hitting them. They are awake.
Unconscious people are not able to hold their eyes shut.
Another one, and back me up or call me on this one fellow care givers: Never have I had an unconscious person cross their ankles and leave them there.
So here is our new buddy, ankles crossed, eyes held shut and the hand amazingly missing his face every time when my partner leans down and whispers in his ear. One eye just barely popped open, saw me and went shut again.
We were taking him down to the ER on the cot when we finally met up with the 'Code orange' team. They were furious they had not been alerted of the event sooner. They learned of our situation from the engine driver who luckily went in to flirt with the staff. Turns out that only the 'code blue' alerts are heard in the ER. Makes perfect sense, right?
The physician got the quick report and took a look at him.
"Did you do his feet like that?" No, he had them like that on the floor as well, crossed.
When security told them what the guy was caught for, they almost turned red.
I followed them to the ER where they did everything by the book. The big, painful book.
IV access was obtained 14g in the AC.
Gag reflex was confirmed by yankauer tip insertion.
Rectal temp was taken to ensure accuracy of reading.
Body was exposed to examine for trauma secondary to seizure activity.
It was when his pants were coming off that he reaced down to keep them on. Suddenly aware of his situation.
"What did you whisper when you were down there?" I asked after we had left.
"I simply said, 'Your fly is open.' and he wasn't expecting that. Every man instinctivly wants to check."
I still use that line and it still works.
Comments
We're also fond of loudly saying "Oh dear! He won't wake up! We shall have to check him from head to toe for any life threatening injuries. Please start cutting his jeans off."
Because, you know? Those shoelaces? They're hard to untie.
Snip.
Your jeans? They're awful tight, you might have an unstable fracture that I'd exacerbate by pulling your jeans down.
Snipsnipsnip.
Can't risk moving your C-spine while your teeshirt comes off.
Snipsnipsnipsnip.
Hours later, you're waiting for a cab wearing a hospital gown with a bag of washing rags.
And all you have to do it stop wasting my time :)