Tuesday, June 16

Sneaking narcotics into prison

Mr Murphy and I have an understanding of sorts. If I bring full C-spine equipment to the 7th floor, I won't need it after all. If I get my full PPE on for the trash can fire, it will be just that. And if I bring the valium all the way into the jail, I won't need it when I arrive.


Jailers report a man actively seizing


Gosh darn it if there isn't a maze of doors, gates and guarded elevators in this jail. I guess it's to keep folks in, but since it often takes 4-5 minutes just to get confirmation we're supposed to be there, I decide to bring along the good stuff so I can stop this life threatening seizure. Besides, like I said, if I bring it, I won't need it.

We're led by the jailers to the medical ward where no less than 3 RNs and an MD are standing over a man sitting up on a stretcher, talking with him.

"Hi, did you report an active seizure?" I try not to sound accusatory, but I was told later I sounded upset.
We were informed that this man has had 3 seizures today and policy requires that he be transported for evaluation and observation.
He has no history of seizures. No one witnessed his seizures. He told his guard he had a seizure and came to the medical ward. Then he was released.
Then two more times and here he is. Never postictal, according to my explanation of what that meant to the guard who responded, "Not in the slightest."

The MD and the RNs are asking if I'm going to be sedating him for transport, since he is a violent offender.
"That's what these guys are for," I said pointing at 2 jailers salivating to rig this fellow up to our ambulance gurney.

Enroute the patient told me about how he was innocent and no one will listen to him, so he has to find ways to get them to listen.
"Like faking seizures?" I ask casually.
"Yeah, whatever it takes."

Sigh. At triage I passed everything along and the nurse was familiar with our friend who began to tell the entire ER how he didn't do anything wrong.
"What did he do?" I asked the jailer later.
"According to him, nothing." He replied, then smiled, "but according to the state, a whole lot of bad stuff."

It was then I finally remembered the valium was still just sitting in my jacket pocket, likely visible from more than 1 angle, and I can cross of another of my List of stuff I always wanted to do:
#32 Sneak narcotics into prison.


AdCy said...

I have had those guys, too! I was unfortunate enough to have a jail in my district in the past. We had a guy who faked seizures...it was quite humorous to watch...flopping around like a fish out of water. But we did our thing. Once we loaded him into the rig, he peeked through one eye and asked "Are we alone?" When I told him we indeed were, he sat straight up, said thank God, because he needed "a break from that hellhole". And because he wanted to go, we had to transport. Awesomness at it's best...

MotorCop said...

Happy, happy, happy...I'm afraid you can't cross it off your list because you didn't sneak them into prison. You snuck them into jail. Prison is where you go once convicted.

Did I burst your bubble?

The Happy Medic said...

Convicted schmonvicted, if I have to pas through 3 checkpoints and be escorted by two different people, plus the secured elevator, then everyone is in orange, I think we can put your industry jargon aside and let me cross it off the list.

Aren't you a traffic guy anyways?

You always try yo ruin my list!