Thursday, July 30

You peed?

The text says he is having trouble breathing. The dispatcher has added a Paramedic Supervisor to the call, usually reserved for major emergencies. What we found was not what we were told.


A man is having difficulty breathing.


The middle aged man has called 911 reporting he can not breathe. We arrive at the house and are met by a girl in her late teens, telling us to hurry, her father can not breathe.
At the top of the stairs we hear him calling out to us, in full sentences and at quite a volume, that he can not reach his urinal.

"Hurry up already, I peed! I have to pee more!" He is shouting.

"Sir, do you have an emergency?" My partner asks as I take a moment to survey our surroundings. 50" HDTV with HD Satellite box, clean bedding, stacks and stacks of pirated DVDs, bed side commode and fridge (Not a combo unit).

"I need a ride to the doctor, I can't hold me pee!" He calls out as we hand him the urinal. "It's too late now. What took you so long?"

"..." I can't speak.
"..." Partner is at a loss for words as well.

The phone is placed back on the hook from where he called 911 and immediately rings. The son is calling asking what the problem is, he heard sirens. The son is 3 doors down. All this time the son is 3 doors down, alone, and can't come help dad pee. The girl is rubbing her forehead and taking notes of our assessment. When I ask why she tells me her mom will want to know exactly what happened and she wants to be accurate.

"You don't need an ambulance, Sir, but we'll call your Doctor's office to try to arrange a ride if you don't have one. I don't see a cane or walker, are you able to get around OK?" I ask, hoping he listens to reason.

"I want a ride and you are my ride. Let's go." He's up off the bed, slippers on and heading for the door, not even allowing a basic assessment until we're in the ambulance.

All the way downstairs and to the street without even a wince or groan, a wheeze or moan and he refuses to climb in, instead demanding we remove the cot and load him up. Realizing we are not in control, we've stopped trying to do the right thing. As soon as he sits down on the cot and I take the feet to load him up he cries out, "Hurry up I have to pee!"
"Can you hold your urine, I'll get you a urinal in..."
"I'm peeing!"

I love my job.


Anonymous said...

Errrrrr......what to say to that one?

Look for the positives HM. As it was all happening, in the back of your head a subconscious thought was forming, gradually moving towards the front....then like a blinding flash of light:

"This will make a great blog post!!!!"

Anonymous said...

I am a little grossed out here ... people and their action disgusted me.

Your patient is a self centred moron, that boarders on abuse of EMS.

Just shows what constitutes as an emergency for one person, may not constitutes as an emergency for someone else.

Plus, he treated you and your partner like shit.

Capt. Schmoe said...

Thats what I love about this job!!!
You always have a place to pi$$.
You always have a place to get pi$$ed on.
You always have a place to get pi$$ed off.
It doesn't get any better than that.

Happy, edit if you need to.

Ambulance Driver said...

I've always said it's better to be pissed off than pissed on...

Word Verification: Inguana

Def: A tiny monitor lizard that leaves in the warm, sweaty environs of the male crotch.

Michael Morse said...

Reminds me of the lady who complained she had to "wait forever" for us to get there, let us carry her out on the stairchair, put her on the stretcher, load her into the back, then sat on the stretcher like the Queen of Sheeba and announced "I'm going to have a bowel movement."

WWWebb said...

80 percent of my patients didn't need an ambulance.

The thing was, Medicaid paid for the ambulance but not for a taxicab.

Chris said...

Whilst I can understand that policy says that you have to transport the patient if they demand it, can't you just refuse to risk your back by loading them when they don't need it?

If he wants to go to ER that badly, he'll climb in.