Fear and Wussification

The world isn't fair.

Children are told this from day 1.  Today people like to use helicopter parenting as an excuse for kids who are different, sensitive or don't meet some imaginary standard set by "the good old days" of when they were kids or some book written 1400 years ago regardless of denomination.

Some call it the 'wussification' of America, a belief that being less violent somehow equates with weakness or lack of character.  I know many of you buy into the 'wussification' of America and point to millenials who "expect something for nothing" or come out of college with useless degrees  while working nights at the Burger King only to get upset when they can't find a job in the economy destroyed by the same people who told them they HAD to go to college or else they'll be flipping burgers the rest of their lives.  Ironic when you think about it.

In all the baseless arguments about guns, gun control, 'wussification' and Liberal vs Conservative is an underlying torrent of violence that few are willing to talk about.  We're afraid to admit how afraid we are of being seen as 'not tough enough.'

When someone walks into a school and commits mass murder we blame the shooter, the gun, the gun maker, the mental health system, the President, video games, violence on TV and just about anything but each other.  It is true that it takes a village to raise a child and somewhere along the way a wedge was driven between our kids.

It became us vs them.  There have been cliques since the first caveman hit another one on the head and a third smiled.  there will always be cliques when more than 2 people come together.  But what about when 2 believe the third to be lesser?

The 'other' was made to be lesser, the 'different' to be worse, the 'unusual' to be worthless.

Some kids address their fear with words, calling others fat, nerdy, stupid or worse.

Some kids choose physical violence, picking fights, tripping and pushing the others, the different, the unusual.

Some use knives, guns and other weapons to inflict harm on those they fear.

Yes, fear.

Fear of what they've been told is the lesser, the worse, the worthless.  Fear that they will not be seen as tough enough by their peers, parents and the greater community.  Trouble is that for every person who believes that is another of their peers who feels the same way, yet thinks they are alone.  In other words, a lie told enough times becomes truth in a vacuum of information.

Fear is a powerful motivator and kids today are so afraid to be seen as 'wussified' they'll take their fear to extremes using any means they can.  Words become pushes, pushes become punches, punches become a lighter/knife/gun/bat/car.

Take the recent attempted murder of Sasha Fleischman in California.  Sasha could easily be labeled by outsiders as an other, different and certainly unusual.  Sasha did not self identify as male or female, preferring to be called agender.  Many of you would point to this person's beliefs as a classic case of 'wussification.'  "What parent would raise a boy and allow them to think of themselves as anything different?  It's their own fault."  Nice knee jerk.  Blame the parents for their son being set on fire?

Yes, set on fire.  You see, 18 year old Sasha was comfortable wearing skirts to school and some kids there didn't like that.  I'm positive Sasha was called names, pushed, the usual incidents from every kid's childhood when seen as different.  I got picked on and hit growing up and all I did was join the computer club.

On November 4th Sasha was on a City bus asleep heading home from school when a 16 year lit Sasha on fire.

A coward who's name I will not mention thought Sasha a threat to his masculinity.  That's not my opinion, that's what this 16 year old attacker told police was the reason for this act.  He was afraid Sasha was a gay man.

So afraid of being seen as a 'wuss' by his peers, so afraid that talking to Sasha might influence his own opinions, so afraid Shasha might grow up to get one of those disastrous gay marriages, this 16 year old child reached for the only solution he thought would secure his masculinity: violence.

I'm sure that had this kid had access to an axe, knife or gun those likely would have been used but a quick click of the lighter and, fwoosh, he's more of a man in his mind.  The threat of the other, the different, the unusual has been removed.

This is what goes through the minds of children like this 16 year old.  Children not told by their parents to think of other people as equals.  Children who's parents are either a constant negative influence or an absent positive influence.  Parents who allow their children to do whatever they want and parents that smother children with rules so strict prison would be a vacation.

My point is that the 16 year old attacker must be seen as the weird, the different, the unusual and it must be addressed on a large scale.  Not by telling everyone to come to Town Square and sing Give Peace a Chance, but perhaps encourage parents to be mindful of the hate they share with their children.  While we can remove the threat of certain violent acts in some cases the emotion, hatred and misguided belief that the other is the enemy will eventually boil over and violence will ensue.

I'm less afraid of the boys at my daughters' school pointing their fingers like a gun and going "pew" while on the playground as I am of one of those kids one day thinking my daughter as so weird because she wears different colored socks, so different because she loves to read or so unusual for some reason I don't even know about that he feels so fearful of her the solution is to set her on fire.

That is the 'wussification' of America I'm afraid of.  Shasha Fleischman was a threat to no one yet will likely be blamed for being lit on fire by a coward.  Figure that one out.