A Letter to George Redner III - "Reds"

Reds,

I know we just met, may I call you Reds?  Do you prefer George?

I'm sorry that this letter comes 2 days too late.

I felt for you, your family and your Departments.

I won't feed you some bullshit line about knowing how you feel, or that everything will be better tomorrow after a hug and a song.  That's not how this works.  The touchy feely stigma attached to sharing feelings in EMS and the Fire Service has been blown out of control.  Those who you think have it together are just one small step behind you.

So instead of trying to convince you to call and talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling, I want you to call me. (602) MED-IC99.  That's my google voice and it rings to my cell phone.  Call me and let's just talk.  Get it off your chest to a total stranger, no names required.  I won't judge you and I won't pretend to know what you're feeling.  What I will do is try to talk you out of going down to the tracks.

We see a lot of sick shit in this job.  There's no sugar coating that.  The trick is to let out what you're feeling under your terms before it rips itself out through your heart and makes you feel...well...like you did 2 days ago.

Whatever it is, was or was going to be that guided you to the tracks I wish I could have been there for you if for no other reason than  to give you an outlet.  We can't talk to just anyone.  Family may judge, family doesn't stop caring, the wife doesn't understand, or understands all too well, the rent is late, the house is paid off, failed the exam, aced the final, got the dream job, didn't get the new job...pick one, or all, right?

But maybe, just maybe a stranger's ear could have made a difference.  It may sound cold, George, but I wish I didn't know your name, or the names of the others in our ranks that chose your option out.

It must seem like the only option there is.

 

I'm sorry I didn't meet you in time,

Justin

 

To anyone who might feel like George did I offer my number again (602)MED-IC99.  Call me.  If you don't call me, please call someone.  Anyone.  Talk about it.  You'll be glad you did.  I promise.

Don't want to talk? How about type? Get online.  There are 21,000 strangers HERE at Code Green you can vent to.  I've been venting for 6 years and am healthier for it.

Comments

L. Shore said…
Reds was a brother and partner of mine. I will miss him dearly. He left a hole that cannot be filled. Rest easy brother....

L. Shore, EMT-P
Sharon Brown said…
Justin, thank you so much for the letter to George. I have worked with him for the past 3 yrs. This hit very close to home. These past few days have been very rough for a lot of us. As I keep posting, *a person doesn't realize how many lives they've touched until it's too late" we are all trying to make sense of this tragedy. Together we will get through it somehow. Stay safe and please reach out.
Wanda Kartal said…
Thank you for this letter, it is amazing and to the point and just what someone will need. I shared it today on FB and gave my google number as well. perhaps someone will call either of us and perhaps others will add their number too. Thank you for starting something that will make a difference for the next person
Justin said…
Thank you for stepping out there Wanda, and thanks for reading.
George Redner Jr said…
Thank you Justin for a well written Letter and raising awareness.
Lucia Giron said…
I had the pleasure of knowing George through the ER at SMMC. It's frightening to think how we all missed this. He always appeared to be such a positive and happy person. I'm sorry for the loss of a young and promising life, and can not even fathom the pain his parents must be going through. If anyone wants to talk, needs to vent or just needs a sympathetic listener , call me...any time... Our jobs are so stressful and we often forget the importance of caring for ourselves.... Let's proactive and not let George's death be for nothing .... We see the worst life has to offer , but we also see the best ... Sometimes just talking to someone who understands , and venting our feelings, helps put all the ugliness into perspective....Call if you need to talk....215-584-2662 .. I promise to listen and I promise not to judge ....
Evil J said…
Rest easy George, it was a pleasure to know you. You were actually a wonderful individual. And I thank you for my coffee and made sure I ate during the storm. This is such a tragic loss. Rest easy brother, we will take it from here.
OfficerFroggy said…
I was the dispatcher who took the call from someone who was concerned about him. I knew who George was, but probably never had a conversation with him, even though we hung I'm the same circles and attended the sane events. We had just recently become fb friends. That night I reached out to him as that stranger. We talked a while online about what was going on in his life. The last time I heard from him was around 12:30 am. The next morning I was back at work when we learned who it was.....I could feel the panic building up inside me and I tried to suppress it but it the grief was too strong. I broke down and had to leave the floor for about an hour while I pulled myself together. The past few days have been awful seeing people I care about hurting so badly. We will never know why....but if anyone out there is considering this.....I know you get to a place, a really dark place, where you think you're a burden to others, that they'd be better off without you, that you just want the pain and the sadness or even the numbness and the exhaustion of trying to pretend day in and day out that you're ok....but PLEASE.....never forget the ripple effect..no one is so alone that no one cares about them. We have tough jobs, and it takes special people to belong to this crazy family....don't let it destroy you---because it affects every aspect of your life and how you deal with other stressors.

"To the world you may be one person; but to one person you may be the world."

Take care of one another.
George Redner Jr. said…
Thank you for reaching out to my son. This is well written.
OfficerFroggy said…
Mr. Redner, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I, like I'm sure so many others, wish my words could have saved him. He was obviously very loved and will be sorely missed.
Andrew said…
We in emergency services think of ourselves as a brotherhood. And we are. For those who may be going through what Officer Froggy described, remember, the brotherhood is there to help you. Hundreds of thousands of brothers and sisters in this country, a million or more around the world, every last one of them ready and willing to come to YOUR aid. If we are willing to lay down our lives for STRANGERS, how can you think we would ignore a BROTHER or SISTER?

You are NOT alone! Call someone... call Justin or Wanda, or your local clergy, or a peer counselling group, or CodeGreen, or someone! You're not fighting this battle alone... we are ALL right here with you. Every last Goddamned one of us.