A Man Who Needs No Introduction

One of the best parts of working in EMS is having conversations with the moderately intoxicated.  I've told you stories of my beautiful blue eyes, random electronic bands from the 1990s, but sometimes the simplest of comebacks can make your day.


A man in his 70s has fallen, bleeding from the head


Not just the head. Uncle Moneybags (Not his real name) has had a few cocktails in the limo on the way to the airport and didn't notice the curb.  This happens often, even with those who have not had so many drinks.  The crew first on scene is having a hard time getting him to consent to a full assessment so they gave me a call to come assist.

Abrasions here and there tell the story, as does the growing hematoma on his forehead.  We snap a pic using the work phone to show him the damage and he is still convinced we are blowing everything out of proportion.

"Hello Mr Moneybags, I'm HM, I'd like to help you navigate this situation if you don't mind."

He was not amused that more "civil servants" had arrived to fuss over him.

"Do you have any idea who I am?" he grumbled, clearly assuming I did.  I had to pounce.

"Well, Mr Moneybags, my name is HM, you just told me that.  Memory loss is a sign of a head injury.  I'm concerned about you."

His frustration was matched only by the smiles of the ALS crew and ambulance nearby.

Uncle Moneybags eventually consented to transport, mainly because the airline denied him passage until the next day, but there's a part of me that wants to google his name and find out if I am indeed supposed to recognize him.

But we never ever do that.