A HIPPA Friendly Post

I was joking with a friend that instead of changing facts in these posts to make them safe and legal and such, I could just omit the information. I joked it would look like a horrible MAD LIBS. Sounded like a challenge. So here is a HIPPA approved EMS Blogger Post:

THE EMERGENCY

[There is no way to confirm or deny the existence of a medical emergency]

THE ACTION

We arrived at [a location] for a reported [medical condition]. The reporting party said their [possible relative] was [partaking in a household task] when [he and/or she] lost their balance, resulting in a [mechanism of injury] that caused [an injury and/or illness].

The [municipal service] moved quickly to apply [a/an approved medical device] and extricated the patient to the awaiting [conveyance]. In the back I started a [patient care procedure] and rapidly shifted gears to the [medical device]. I charged the [medical device] to [an approved setting] and pressed [the appropriate button]. The smell was intense. [a body part] had caught fire, literally, as a result of the [patient care procedure] despite my use of [approved pharmacological interventions].

Needless to say the accepting [Physician and/or Physician's Group] at [a secular receiving medical facility] was not at all amused at our predicament and immediately started [an approved pharmacological intervention].