CISD with OK GO Part VII - Nothing Changes Much

CISD - Critical Incident Stress Debriefing

OK GO - A band

This is another in what I thought was a complete series of dealing with PTSD using the music of OK GO.  For over 7 years I've been seeing parts of my recovery in the lyrics of their songs and the images of their accompanying videos.  What started as a 2 song idea has clearly expanded as my recovery does.

We’ve covered the initial reaction – Don’t Ask Me How I Feel Part I, The Invincible stage of recovery Part II, then ask ourselves “WTF is Happening” Part III.

Then we realized the healing process is almost complete in Part IV – This Too Shall Pass.

When we think everything is OK we see the boys on their treadmills and realize Here it Goes Again.
Suddenly things were upside down and inside out in Part VI. We were done.  Or were we?
We learned about how to process the chaos with their TED Talk  and that was that. Done.

But nothing changes much.

When things settle down and you've gone through the entire OK GO catalog signing along to this song and that, remembering the steps of your recovery everything seems fine.

Then you find yourself in a tough spot and feel some of those old feelings starting to creep back in.

That's when Damien and the guys from OK GO remind you that nothing changes much...from the song White Knuckles:

You'll never get that taste, out of your mouth
You'll never the paw prints, out of the hen house now
And you can't go back, same way you came
Round all the pieces up, but they just don't fit the same
They don't fit the same. I don't know if I have extra pieces or new pieces or if some of the old pieces have been damaged.  All I know is that the lyrics didn't hit me until recently.  And when they did, as usual, they hit me like a freight train.

So come and let it all out, let it bleed
Did you get what you want? did you get what you need?
Behind the lines, behind the walls
Tell me whats the bet you made, was it that bad after all?

... What bet did I make?  What was the wager?  Did I sell part of my soul to recover from my illness? If so, which part? Did I get what I wanted or what I needed?  Neither? Both?
So just have fun, its far enough
Everybody needs to sleep at night, everybody needs a crutch
But couldn't good, be good enough?
'Cause nothin' ever doesn't change but nothin' changes much
... Why couldn't good be good enough?  When we invite self doubt is when the walls start to wobble.  Are we making the right decisions?  Am I making the right decisions? Am I the dog taking commands or am I the band giving them?

Ouch, Damien.

Not cool. Now what?