Sunday, March 26

Strippers and Cocaine watch - 2017

I'm losing it.

Back in 2009 I was the #3 google result for "strippers and cocaine" because of this post I wrote bout, you guessed it, strippers and cocaine.

But since then I have fallen in the ranks, at first because of the Hangover Movie franchise and now because of some banker who stole $2.1 million and spent it on, you guessed it, strippers and cocaine.

Do me a favor, sneak over to the google machine and search "strippers and cocaine" and let's get me back on the first page where I belong.

Make my Mom proud!

Saturday, March 25

Seizures! Seizures Everywhere!

I have a magical super power.

No, really, I do.

I can tell when people are sick and when something else is going on.  I get paid well to do it and am told I'm not horrible at it.

When driving lights and sirens to the scene of a reported "Seizure, Active/Multiple" my mind is reviewing our treatment guidelines.  I am already drawing up the medications in my mind and am sure to grab an extra vial on my way in to back up my medics already on the scene.  As I begin the stair climb to their level I hear on the radio "We need Police here ASAP!" and a woman screaming in the background. Apparently our seizure patient is improving.

Like most 911 calls for a seizure, there was no seizure.

"How do you know?!" you ask?  I already told you:

Magical super powers.

The patient wasn't presenting with the physical symptoms of a person who had a seizure.

The patient wasn't presenting with the alertness (or lack thereof) of a person who had a seizure.

Her boyfriend trying to calm her as she fought us denied she ever had a seizure.

So I did what I do and asked the crowd if anyone saw what happened.

Just as I did a man stepped forward and "offered the power of prayer," while trying to enter the fray and lay a hand on the patient.  This was not helping, nor was his loud shouting like one of those millionaire TV preachers.  PD took care of him and I renewed my question to the crowded restaurant.

"I saw her have a seizure" came a confident yet slurred voice from the back of the crowd. A "Nursing staff member" told us he saw the seizure, then described to me someone having an emotional response to a crowded flight.

"So no shaking?" I ask already knowing the answer. "No."

"No postictal period?" "Um, I don't think so."

I dragged the boyfriend from his completely useless role of whispering at a woman who was screaming obscenities at a half dozen public safety professionals and pulled him back to a wall.  His pupils told me all I needed to know.

"What did you guys take and did you get it from someone you trust?"


I still have no idea why people ingest some things, especially before flying, but when our suspicions were confirmed I was able to pass along the information to the other rescuers and everything fit nicely into place.  She was cared for elsewhere and he was given instructions to sober up and never try that again, which I'm confident fell on deaf ears.

As I returned past the scene towards my car, glad I was always prepared for a seizure, feeling the meds in my pocket, I passed by the "nursing staff member" and the TV preacher.

"Is she OK from her seizure?" he asked and I smiled and nodded.  The preacher simply stood in the middle of the hallway mumbling to himself, hands down at his sides but palms open.  The nursing staff member went over to talk to him but was never acknowledged.

Part of me wants to see the mini series based on the two of them solving crimes and getting into trouble together.  The rest of me went back in service.

Monday, March 20

Nothing is certain except death and taxes. I can help you with both

We in Fire and EMS deal with death more often than most people, usually in the moment doing our damn level best to prevent it, sometimes without success.  Other times, however, we take he dead and bring them back to the living.  Death is more complicated for firefighters, Paramedics and Law Enforcement because of our place in the community.  We are first to arrive, first to act and usually the first to grieve.  We take care of ourselves later, when we get a chance, and never to the full extent we deserve.

We seek out help, often too late or not the right kind (Paging Dr Daniels, Dr Jack Daniels) and find ourselves worse off than before.

Why am I playing Debby Downer on a Monday morning?

Because a few years ago just after I recovered from a rough patch, the wife and I got into a sticky tax situation with a foreclosure and a handful of other job related issues.  Like Mr Franklin said, nothing is certain...except...


In the middle of all this personal and emotional chaos I was learning about insane tax laws that were designed to punish us for an unforeseen downturn and other complications.  It was going to cost us 5 figures, 5 figures we didn't have.  The wife, being a weirdo and loving to do our taxes, dove in head first.  Well, not really dove, she was remarkably pregnant at the time, but into the sea of complicated tax law she went, happy as a clam.

She emerged a short while later with print outs of tax laws that would save us, but it was complicated.

We decided to bite the bullet and hire a Certified Public Accountant to do our return that year because that's just what you do, right?  More than a few hundred dollars later we got the results and were floored.

The CPA was wrong and hadn't prepared our filing properly.

When confronted the CPA simply shrugged it off as an oversight by the clerk who prepared the return.  Yup, the CPA doesn't do the returns.  The wife showed them the print outs, guided them on other deductions for this here website and our giant liability was reduced significantly.  And the CPA didn't even offer a refund.

She has completed our returns ever sense with a growing confidence, especially in the 3 disciplines.  So much so she got serious and completed her 60 hour course and is now a CTEC Registered Tax Preparer and IRS eFile Authorized.  In short she blows the CPA and "clerk" out of the water, and at almost half the cost.

She just launched a new website, KMS Tax Prep, and is looking for firefighters, cops, paramedics and EMTs, families and small businesses like hers that need an honest set of eyes looking over their taxes.  She offers double checks of previous filings, of course preparation and filing of all 50 states and Fed, but also offers unique guidance for the coming years based on your situation.

Go over and drop her a line.  She's mad enough to be offering a FREE double check AND $100 OFF a personal or small business prep and filing if you complete upload of documents by April 1st (She guides the uploads, it's totally basic).

You can find KMS Tax Prep on Twitter @KMSTaxPrep and Facebook, go give her a like and a follow for me, will ya?



Saturday, March 18

What to do when the powers that be - just can't. Episode 99

I got 99 problems and this podcast ain't one.  Well, to be fair, consistently hosting a weekly radio show for almost 5 years is kind of a big deal and the fact that that show is now in it's third regeneration and hitting 100 shows says something.  But that's next week.  For now, let's discuss Episode 99.

In this episode, MC and HM discuss tips, tricks, and dare we say, strategies on dealing with a new boss.

The new boss could have been a rockstar elsewhere and been reassigned or simply put in the position with little to no experience at all. Bottom line is simple:

You're new boss may not know what he/she is doing.

How are you going to handle that moving forward? Will you be the go-to person or will you be the squeaky wheel/whiner that points out faults at every turn instead of trying to make it better for all involved?


The 100th episode is a mere week away! Join us LIVE on 3/24 at 1200 hours Left Coast time on Facebook and participate into what is sure to be shenaniga-tastic.

Click to Support the Show!

Rate the Show on iTunes!


Friday, March 10

the Crossover Ep 98 - Off Duty and Fancy Free

After weeks apart MC and HM discuss what they do with their families to decompress.

Yes. They talk about beer...but, more importantly, they talk about having some fun, out-of-the-usual plans with the family.

What did HM and the Jrs think of Universal Studios?  Why doesn't MC want to take the Italian Bird to the snow?  All these questions and more are answered in 40 minutes of radio gold.  OK, silver.  Or maybe tin.

**Don't forget the 100th episode is coming soon! A mere two weeks remains before the extravaganza**

Don't forget to join the guys on Facebook LIVE on 3/24 at 1200 hours.



And seriously, who still listens to this on a website?  That is sooooo 2010.  Subscribe you apes!  You want to live forever?!